Labor… Going into labor… I didn’t even know. Well I kind of knew? Okay it was more like this… Um… I feel funny…. I don’t think your going into work today.
Then, call the doctor… Okay if pains get worse go to hospital by 7:30am. Call mom and dad. Go to hospital, mom meets us there, then 2 hours later they tell me I am not dilated enough. To go walk For 2 hours then come back. Oh boy did my mom and husband make me walk. And walk. And walk. When I got back to the hospital, I was in so much pain and there was no rooms. It was like every female on Long Island decided to give birth that day.
I was crying so hard, it hurt so much that people I didn’t even know, were telling the nurses to get me in a room. It took hours. The contractions were 2 minutes apart but I was not dilating. My baby was trying to come out, but had no room, no where to go! So they gave me morphine to numb the pain. That lasted like for an hour. I begged for the epidural. But they wouldn’t give it to me.
I had some holistic bitch of a nurse who came in while I was in a full blown panic attack (plus crazy painful contractions) tell me if I didn’t stop and breathe, that my baby and I would die. She kept saying “women have been doing this for thousands of years with no medicine and you can to! ” I threw the blood pressure cuff at her (after I ripped it off my arm) and told her to get the fuck out and not to come back. They sent in a new nurse and gave me the epidural. I was in heaven after that.
I am not knocking people who want a no drugs birth and stuff like that, but it is not for me. I told them at 7:30 am that YES I WANT THE EPIDURAL! It took them 12 hours to give it to me. 12 HOURS!!! and this baby wanted out.
Well eventually I fell asleep. At 3:30am they came in to give me pictin(sp?) to make me dilate. At 10:00am (the next day) I was fully dilated. At 12:00pm I told the nurse she better get there doctor because my baby was coming and fast. The doctor was still delivering another child and could not be there. They told me not to push, but I did anyway every time I felt the need to. At 12:40pm the doctor came in. My daughter was born at 1:08pm in the summertime of 2015. After 30 hours of labor. And she was (and still is) beautiful. The first thing she did when they handed her to me, was grab my finger and look into my eyes. Her eyes are beautiful. They are a grey hazel, but when she was born, they looked dark purple /violet.
I loved her when she was a yolk sack.
I loved her when she looked like a thumb.
I loved her when she was developing inside of me, and I documented all her sonogram pictures.
I loved her when she was sitting on my bladder.
I loved her when she was kicking me in the ribs.
But when they laid her on my chest for the first time, I fell so in love with her. I would give my life for her if she needed me to. I would take all pain away from her and bare it for her if need be. I would take her tears and make them disappear and never return if I was able to. I love my daughter, she is the most important thing in my life. She is beautiful, smart, above average and funny. She is a very happy and content baby. God has blessed me truly (and I am not a religious person). I will forever be thankful for the gift of a child He (and my husband Jay) has given me.